Recent natural disasters, home mortgage crises, stock market volatility and credit constriction are proving to be tremendously difficult for some of the most at-risk members of our society. New parents, particularly pregnant and postnatal women, feel naturally compelled to create a stable home environment for their babies. Rapidly fluctuating hormone levels and brain chemistry only elevate their increased stress levels.
Parental stress levels directly impact the stress levels of the sensitive young minds of babies and children. New mothers and fathers who find themselves overloaded and unprepared for the challenges that face them need practical ways to cope with the instability that can make the creation of a stable home life impossible. Here are some ways to help both parent and child:
1. Focus on one small step at a time. When disaster strikes, it is all too easy to spiral down into an unmanageable sense of doom. There may be a long list of problems to deal with, but you need to focus on the present. Are you and your baby or child safe for this day? If so, allow yourself to feel grateful, if only for the briefest moment. If you are not, ask yoursef what needs to happen to get you and your family into a safe space. Then, follow through.
2. Allow Yourself to Be Honest. You may need to temporarily suppress some emotions for the sake of being able to move forward in the world, but ignoring your feelings completely can be dangerous. Give yourself permission to feel whatever is going on inside. Do an internal check. Are you mad, glad, sad, scared or some combination of these?
3. Connect. You are not alone. Connecting with other people and sharing your story can help you feel sane again and bring comfort to everyone involved. If you can do this face-to-face, great. If not, go online and find support groups to connect with there. Quality matters more than quantity. Connecting with just one person or group of people who can be present and supportive can do a world of good.
4. Nurture Your Senses. What do you love? Sights, smells, sounds, tastes and touch all have the capacity to nurture our spirits. At a time when indulgences may seem impossible, you can nourish yourself by paying attention to the smallest treats. Ask yourself what you love to taste, touch, smell, see and hear. Think of ways to do two or more at a time and really focus on them. Some of the best ones are completely free. Really tasting a meal, noticing the colors in the world around you, feeling the warmth of your child’s skin, hearing the sound of a loved one’s voice can sustain you through some of the most difficult times. Strive to indulge each of your senses in some small way each day.
5. Cover the Basics. Sleep, eat, drink water, and breathe. It may not seem like much, but accomplishing these basics will give you strength and help you through to easier times.
6. Let People Know What You Need. This is no time to try to survive on your own. The best way to increase the odds of getting the resources you and your family need is to ask for help. You would undoubtedly help someone else in any way you could, so give others a chance to help you. Check inside and as yourself if you require food, a safe place to sleep, someone to talk to, information or other resources. Then put your pride on the sideline and let people know what would make a difference in your life.