Don’t Compete With Him if You Want to be Complete With Him!

Being in a relationship not easy, everyone knows that. What puts a huge strain on a relationship is when your partner begins to feel like you are no longer supporting him, but are suddenly in competition with him. Reading the subtle signs that this is becoming a problem can help you nip this problem before it is too late.

Ambitious, competitive people are likely to find themselves in relationships with each other, where this problem is likely to arise. If this description applies to you, you should really take the time to consider whether or not your relationship is suffering from this problem. “Boy energy,” is something Rori Raye talks about - it is the type of energy that women use to reach great heights. She suggests that we women avoid bringing it to our relationships with men, because it can undermine our efforts to make him feel loved, respected, and accepted.

When he starts to pull away from you, avoiding activities that involve competition, you can be sure that there is a problem. This could be as simple as a card game with friends at a dinner party, or even something as harmless as the jog you take together in the evening. If he begs off activities like this, chances are that something is up.

It doesn’t take much to step on his toes, really. If you interrupt his stories with anecdotes of your own, he is going to feel as though you are putting yourself before him, and publicly humiliating him as well. Making jokes at his expense will have the same effect.

In a healthy relationship, he is seeking your respect, love, and acceptance. When you undermine his efforts and successes, this makes him wonder whether he can expect these fundamental things from you. If he senses that you are unwilling to offer him these things that he needs, he will begin to doubt his role (and yours) in the relationship. This doubt is harmful to your connection.

Once you become aware that there is a problem, you need to start focusing on the solution. Start by understanding why you feel a need to compete with him. You see, most of the time when women are insecure, we seek affirmation through praise. If you were really 100% secure, you would be offering support and praise to him instead of seeking it for yourself.

You can turn things around before they become critical if you just take the time to notice this problem as soon as it begins. As long as you take the time to consider what it would feel like to be in his shoes, you will be able to understand why this is a problem. No one likes to be one-upped, especially by their mate! Next time a competitive situation arises, be encouraging and supportive. Be generous and kind rather than selfish and self-serving. By making his victories your own, your relationship will thrive by being mutually supportive and loving.